Keep on Keeping on

Getting into working out can be hard, and getting back into working out can be even harder. I’ve been working my way back into things alone since I sprained my shoulder a while back and school kept me inactive for longer than I should have been. It has been a windy road, and I don’t think it’ll straighten out any time soon.

During the time I was inactive, things were difficult. My mood was garbage, my body felt like garbage, and I lost some weight that I didn’t mean to lose. It’s hard to find the motivation to do anything when your body hurts and your mind is tired. But you have to do it. Once you do, it will get harder because you will be sore, but you have to keep going. I’m writing this now to remind myself that I need to keep going too. This battle is as much mental as it is physical, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be won.

I wish I could say that three weeks into doing jujitsu 2-3 times per week, I feel amazing, but I don’t. But I do feel better. I was afraid going to work out with a new group of people. But I think that actually helped me. Because of my shoulder injury, I had been avoiding certain exercises, but since I didn’t want these people to view me as particularly weak, I’m doing pushups with everyone else – just not as many of them. At first I was a little embarrassed. I still am very slightly embarrassed. The other day we were running to warm up and I felt terribly tired. When I looked at the clock, it told me that we were only two minutes into class.

After a few days of class I stopped pretending to be done doing warm up drills at the same time as everyone else. I’ve been making it a point not to cut corners regardless of who may see. I’ve always been worried that people will think less of me, but now I realize that if I don’t do what everyone else is doing plus some, I’ll never get through group workouts as easily as everyone else. The reason they can do it and I can’t is because they have continuously worked hard and I haven’t. And that is okay. I’m starting my hard work now.

After three weeks of doing jujitsu 2-3 times per week, I feel better. My body hurts significantly less and I’m back up to my normal weight. And with hard work, in a few more weeks I’ll be even better than I am today.

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